Stop Making Dating So Damn Hard

So many people make dating harder than it needs to be and they also end up limiting who’s available to them, simply because they’re trying to figure out the How instead of letting it come to them.

The How of receiving what you desire is never, ever up to you. Sure, you can have some ideas or preferences for How something happens, but ultimately, the Universe decides the How.

And it always ends up being something you never would’ve or could’ve thought of on your own.

So knowing this, why would you ever try to figure out How you’ll receive the man (or woman), love and relationship you desire? It makes no sense and is a waste of your time.

Now you may be thinking, “OK fine, I’ll bite. Tell me what I should be doing instead of trying to figure out the How.”

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Want The Outcomes You Desire? Commit To Doing What Matters No Matter What

This week, my boyfriend’s store is having its annual sale and there’s gonna be way more people than usual coming in. So he asked me to be an extra hand this week to help out.

Of course, I was down to do this for him, BUT NOT at the expense of what I have going on.

This is a common issue I often see with women. Someone asks them to do something, or there’s something they need to do (like go to a day job or take care of kids), and they believe their dreams and desires and outcomes have to be given up for that to happen.

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Until You Reclaim Your Worthiness, You’re Gonna Keep Getting More Of The Same

This was my relationship story for most of my life: I don’t get to have the guy I really want.

It started in fifth grade. I had a huge crush on this guy in my class, but he didn’t like me back. My 10-year-old self made that mean I wasn’t good enough or worthy of having the guy I want.

That continued to be my story, all through middle school, high school, college, and then into my early 20s.

Anytime I liked or had a crush on a guy, he never felt the same way. Or, if he did, it was always temporary and then he would ditch me for someone else.

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You Have To Recognize Your Relationship Patterns If You’re Ever Going To Receive a Different Outcome

Last night, I was watching an episode of Catfish that I recorded. (Yes, I watch that show and find it interesting and a great place for story inspiration. But I digress…)

In the episode, there was a woman who had been talking to a guy she met on Facebook for three years, and yet they had never video-chatted or met in person. A year and a half prior, she had called off her wedding because she said she realized she had been “ignoring red flags for a long time and was done with it.”

She then went on and explained to Nev about this guy she’d been talking to for three years, and how, after her engagement ended, she started to develop feelings for him and him for her. She was totally in love with him and wanted to be together IRL.

But she hadn’t ever video-chatted or met the guy in person. And any time they tried to do either of those things, he “had car trouble” and it didn’t end up working out.

Red flags all over the place to anyone outside of the situation.

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Know Your Worth And You’ll Actually Receive What You Desire And Deserve

After my divorce, I made a promise to myself: I would never again settle, accept less than, or have a mediocre relationship.

My previous relationships, including my marriage, weren’t exactly horrible experiences, nor were the people I was in the relationships with. In fact, most of the relationships I’ve had over the course of my adult life would be ones other people would’ve called “pretty good” or “good enough.”

But for me, I knew I was accepting less than. Settling. Allowing mediocre.

And there was a simple reason for it: I didn’t feel worthy or good enough for something better.

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